How I Started Building the Life I Wanted

diving Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Yes, we all want to live a certain kind of life. We all have some dreams and hopes that we want to accomplish. But honestly, how many of us actually end up traveling the world, or buying that house, or moving to that country, or finally quitting that job and pursuing your passion. Not many, huh? There are too many responsibilities and obligations. Sometimes we are too comfortable in the dysfunctional patterns that we have created and are so used to. So how do we stop cribbing and start doing?

There are so many motivational posts and blogs to read. I have read them too. And yes, they do motivate you for the 10 seconds that you take to read them. I have also saved innumerable screenshots on my phone from Pinterest and Instagram (no kidding!). But see no one tells you how to get out of the cobweb of thoughts and actually clean the mess.

I am a creative myself who intends to visit at least one new country every year, sketch those illustrations I love doing, do more impact oriented development work that was a part of my job and make enough money while doing all of this to lead a comfortable life. To add to it, I don’t come from some super wealthy family, idea of success in my family is only hard work and commitment, my parents are sort of dependent on me and I also have old grandparents and a younger sister to look after.

These endless responsibilities always overwhelmed me and I have cribbed about them at least 70% of my life until now. The saving grace was my super cool and understanding grand father who retired as an Air Commodore with the Indian Air Force and at the senior age of 60 decided to start a business so that he could provide for the family. He always questioned the status quo, pushed boundaries, and showered us with immense love. That’s how he brought me up.

He taught me-

” Do what you have to do. Don’t give up. Don’t make excuses.”

And he didn’t have to say a word. His actions were enough. Some man, I tell you! He sold his business when he was 80 as there was no one to take it forward. I was still in school back then. But here on, a lot changed. As a family we became more mindful of our savings and expenditures. Growing up, seeing different shades of life teaches you things no school can ever teach you. But no matter how much I complain, I was always protected and cared for no matter how independent my family pushed me to be. I was always under the wing of my grandfather.

Last year, he had a brain stroke that shook my very existence. I was here, in this world, because of him. I was this person, whoever I was because of him. He was the tree trunk my whole family branched out off. Seeing him in that painful state stirred emotions I was not ready to confront. I was weak and scared for him, for my family, for our future but then I had to be strong, again, for him, for the family, for my family’s future. My family needed to know that they are safe. I won’t let anything happen to anyone. I am there. But inside, I was feeling things which can’t be explained in words. I was not prepared for this. I had no idea how to handle a household, all the finances, emotions and relationships, everything. I had no idea how one man held everything and everyone together, understanding everyone’s individual needs and desires.

Right when we were going through this turmoil, I got hit by jaundice and was hospitalized followed by 3 months of bed rest. So here is the scenario, grand dad is hospitalized, I am hospitalized, dad is perpetually unwell and needs attention, grand mom, mom and younger sis (who was here for a couple of weeks, thank God for that!) are super stressed and taking care of everyone and everything. Of course, help came from my relatives and cousins (my dad’s sister and her daughter were with us day in and day out, helping and supporting the family).

But let’s get to the point.

In a few weeks, my grand dad and I both started recovering. My grand mom and mom gave us so much love and care that not only improved our health, it brought us closer and made all of us more patient and understanding towards each other. Those 3 months of bed rest and confrontation with some deepest fears, gave me so much time for introspection and gaining perspective. At this point of time,

I had left my job.
I was heart broken and getting out of a serious long-term relationship.
I had faced the worst fear of losing my grand dad.
I was hospitalized and probably my weakest health-wise.
I was 24 and family needed me emotionally and financially.

This was probably my lowest low. And I had only 2 options. Continue with the cribbing, blaming and cursing everyone and yourself.

Or ~~CHANGE~~. EVOLVE. BREAK THE PATTERNS. TAKE CONTROL.

And that’s what I decided to do. Evolve. Well, you see, even that’s a problem. I didn’t know what to do and where to start. I didn’t even know how to think about this. That’s where being a design researcher helped. I took this as a design challenge.

Statement of Purpose: Design the life that you want

I have been working on this for a while and I feel a lot of people go through this crisis at some point or another. I am going to document my hit and trial methods and learnings, step-by-step for anyone who might need it. I am experimenting and maybe you’ll gain something from my experiments.

Love & Light.

On urban culture and media in India

“Life no longer exists in one single reality; multiple stories are occurring across multiple time lines as we struggle to advance as fast as our technology. The revolution around us propels an evolution within us.”

Reading through an array of blogs and magazines and observing the multi-dimensional information thrown at us by the media today, I tried to assimilate the key factors that prevail in the current Indian scenario.

Looking at the past few protests that took place at various levels across the country, gives us a generation that questions. Our parent’s generation was brought up with information that was fed to them through fundamentalists. However, with the rise of social media and several other information channels, we receive information that we would not have accessed otherwise. We come in contact with a variety of people with varied opinions. Hence, we will teach our children to be a lot more opinionated.

With the time spent on social media on an all-time high, it has the potential to change, transform and reform the Indian society. It can change the way governance and issues are dealt with. As a result, we will see that the political discourse in the country will be deeply affected, starting from the urban areas. We can already see the change with the acceptance of homosexuality, both legally, and in the mind of the masses.

Also, the marriage system is going through a transition. With the unprecedented growth in divorce rates, infidelity, live in relationships and so on, we can assume that this will eventually bring sanity to the process in the longer run as parents will be more accepting and less involved in match making.

Another emerging trend that is prevailing is the changing face of religion. When people start questioning religion, they will be more analytical and realistic and will consider humanism before religious beliefs. We already see the khaps coming on television and making irrational statements. Also, with the release of movies like ‘Oh My God’, the people have started to question the ties of religion.

Because of India’s sluggish attempts to upgrade its education sector, the demographic dividend will be converted to demographic discount. Due to unemployment, people from various parts of the country are migrating to the metropolitan cities which in turn results in the increasing crime rates.

As we see culture changes over a significant period of time, which is a direct reflection of the conversations in the present society. Although, the core values and the beliefs, like, sanctity of marriage, religious beliefs etc. are so deeply rooted that it will take a few decades for a significant change. It is only the outlying manifestations that will get questioned by an increasing number of people. These questions are driven by the external stimuli, such as, media attention and other drivers of social change.

Hence, the emerging major trend can be seen as Radicalism in the Urban Youth.

Angry and vocal, the urban youth today, is, but a few steps away from radicalization. Given that the average Indian has traditionally valued moderation, this emerging trend represents a significant transformation of their mindset.

Their discontent often takes the shape of a short-lived rebellion (as in the Lokpal protests or the Delhi Gang rape protests) but finds it’s most spiteful and sustained expression in social media, a medium that makes access and dissemination of information much more egalitarian in nature. Unlike traditional media, anyone on the internet is today a potential journalist, with editorial biases being rendered ineffectual against the multiplicity of sources from which news can reach the reader.

However, if that feeling of disenchantment can be channelized to serve a particular ideology, then it does become a force to reckon with. Mainstream media in India has always been liberal in outlook. The same has been largely true of the intelligentsia.

31.05.2013 | Convocate-D

NIFT is a pretty unpredictable place to be and I have learnt it the hard way over the past few years. Though I have pretty much accepted that fact but this time they astonished me completely. See, as a part of our curriculum we have to finish our 22 weeks long Graduation Project by the end of May, followed by the juries and the graduation show. Then sometime in August we get our degrees. So it is a long process with loads of preparations to be taken care of. Now imagine, if all of this needs to be done in a weeks time! That’s what happened with my batch.

We had our external juries on our head, prototyping still in progress, documents to be compiled, printed etc. Now to add onto this, our graduation show was planned just 2 days post our final jury. We had to design the theme, logo, brochures, hoardings, invites, etc. get all of that printed and put in place. But this was not enough for NIFT. They had to plan our convocation on the very next day. Yes, the very next day! So we had to prepare our attire, invites, etc. for the same.

Well, some say that it was a good thing that happened. We won’t have to wait till the end of the year for our degrees. But I beg to differ. All these events were important to me as a student. I wanted to grasp them all but thanks to NIFT; it all went by in a blink of an eye. In a week’s time, I was a graduate. It all happened too fast. I genuinely wish I had more time.

But nevertheless, convocation was amazing. Mrs. Ritu Kumar, the chief guest gave an insightful speech on the future of design in India. Mr. Sunil Sethi was the guest of honor who made us take the final oath. That was a magical moment. I literally had goose bumps. And then we all threw our capes in the air followed by the wild cheering by the graduating batch of 2013. Now that’s a moment I’ll cherish for a lifetime.

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So, it’s done now. The flags have been hoisted and the oaths been taken. And officially, I am a graduate with a design degree in hand. It feels wonderful. Finally, all the sleepless nights of hard work have paid off with a GPA of 9.0. Oh, that reminds me, I forgot to mention before, our final semester results came out 15 days after we received our degrees. Now what do you call that? Haha.

Cheers to NIFT!

What’s Love All About?

A beautiful lazy Sunday morning after don’t know how many weeks. I got up at 7 a.m. with not much to do. The Sun was rising and I felt a very comfortable breeze gush through the hair. Mornings are so pleasant now. It’s not cold anymore. It’s time to come out of the hibernation mode and make my mornings count. So I got up, lazed around a bit and got the newspaper. I was just reading through when I came across this article in The Speaking Tree. Very simple but thought provoking. I was discussing the same thing with a friend a few days back and reading this article gave me a little more clarity. –

”

Love is difficult to define. Because our lives, our world and its million experiences, are much beyond the power of mere language to express. Those who have experienced love know what it is; they just simply fail to define it in words.

But if one could come nearest to defining it, I would say that love is like meditation.

It is like you are in a crowded, noisy, confusing place – which is the outside world, and suddenly you come to a quiet room – full of peace, silence and contentment : This is love.

Like meditation, in love, your mind is concentrated in the present moment. No thoughts distract you. You lose the sense of time because the notion of time seems so limiting in front of love. And in a beautiful way, you realize what perfect happiness means in an imperfect world…

And like in meditation, you become a better human being. Unhurried, patient and giving. You lose your ego because you cease to exist as a separate individual. Your soul merges with that of his, and how wonderful life becomes once you break free from the ego cage, breathe into a new life of freedom and of selfless devotion to one another, and nurture dreams of togetherness and little else.

– Mts The Seeker

”

Have you ever felt that kind of attachment with someone? When its not about you, but about you both together as one. That feeling of being complete and satisfied as if you have achieved it all. That feeling when you can just sit with a person, not say a word and walk away feeling that you had the best conversation. When someone’s touch has a healing effect on you, it can elevate you, it can heal you, that’s the power of love.

A step towards humanity. The gift of sight.

“I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, and to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter to count to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”
– Leo Rosten

Ask yourself –
Why I am here?
What was I sent here for?
Will I be remembered when I am gone?
Will I be remembered for good?

What did your heart say? Did it say YES? Or NO?
If it said YES then am so happy that there are people like you who care for the world. We need such compassionate people. But if it said NO then think again. Do you want it to say YES?

I am talking to “YOU”, yes, THE YOUTH OF INDIA.

I am sure we all are aware of the demons we face today that are engulfing our society. The demons created by us, our forefathers. The demons that are rooted so deep that they literally are the founding stones of our society. I see it around me everyday and I am sure you see it too.

See, I agree that the world is a beautiful place but that’s one side of the coin. The other side is a fight for food, money, shelter and even air to breathe. It’s a fight for life. If you come to think of it, that’s what dominates the world today. Suffering, pain and cries. There are so many underlying issues in our society today that even thinking about them makes us tremble. But that doesn’t mean we give them a blind eye. It doesn’t mean we run away from them. We need to face them. We are the youth. We are the future. And it is upon us to fight for humanity.

I am not asking you to go change the world today. It takes time and patience. It requires dedication and perseverance. All I am asking you is to make small changes, take small steps. Our each small step will make a big difference.

And today I took my first step. I pledged my eyes.

Can there be anything better than giving someone the joy of sight? In India alone, about 3 million people suffer from corneal blindness, which means there is hope that their sight can be restored through donor eyes. Shouldn’t we change this when we can. We are one the largest populated countries so shouldn’t we also be the country with the largest eye donors?

Think about it! It won’t cost you anything.

If you want to donate your eyes and give someone the greatest gift of sight then you can visit any online eye donation websites or visit an eye bank near you. There are so many NGO’s working towards this cause who can also be contacted.

I believe, together we can change the world.
So let’s do it!

Here and There, And Everywhere!!

So the last month was a hectic one. Let me go by the chronological order.

1) 27.07.2012.
Happy Birthday to me. I turned 21. Yeahhhhh! That’s quite a landmark, you know. Now I can go to Vegas without having to worry about getting permitted to enter the clubs. Or I can ‘legally’ drink in Delhi (Yeah right! As if the school kids are not drinking. I can really go on and on about the present culture in Delhi schools. School kids are barely in their teens and God, they know their drugs. But well, I am going to refrain myself from tapping into that arena as I don’t want to be hated so soon!) Anyways, I am 21 and it feels great to be out of the phase where you don’t know you are adult or not?!? You know the phase where your parents expect you to do all your work and behave in a certain way because your are an ‘adult’ but seconds later they will take all the decisions for you as according to them you are not old enough to take them on your own! I would like to believe that I am over that phase now. Please don’t burst my bubble.

2) RAAS INDIA
Though I completed my 8 week summer training before my birthday, I am going to mention it now. I was interning with this company – RAAS INDIA and let me tell you, it was an experience. I was literally exposed from the lowest level of work to the highest level. I sat with the workers in the manufacturing units and understood all that I could about iron, brass, copper, glass, etc (sitting and working in all that heat especially in the glass blowing units in NOT fun!!). But totally worth it! I realized there is so much that books can’t teach. To know the finer details of what goes into making something, you got to be there and see it with your own eyes.
I also got to interact with various buyers from all over the world and it was interesting to know that one products which could be selling like hot cakes in one part of the world can completely fail in another. There are such drastic differences that come in the market based on place, culture, people, their lifestyles and so much more. So overall, it was a wonderful experience for me and I am going to keep you posted about all the work I did there.

3) 9 Point Someone.
The next big thing that happened was my college result. So I completed my 3rd year in NIFT with a 9.47 SGPA and it felt sooooo goooddd! Not that marks really matter, but I have to say – It feels good! It really does. I must admit that I was expecting good marks but this blew my mind. But you know what felt better – Seeing that satisfaction and pride on my granddad’s face. He was more pleased than I was and that’s what really made my day. It made me smile from inside if you know what I mean. But coming to the important part. My family owes me a gift and they have asked me to buy whatever I want but I still can’t decide what to buy. So please help me and tell me some good things that I could buy. I am serious! I need help.

4) College re-opens.
Not that I was excited about it but it happened so I have to mention it. College reopened almost 6 days before it should have and that was not fair. I didn’t get to go anywhere for a vacation during these holidays and that was also not fair.

5) And then Bhowali happened.
College opened and all my friends were frustrated. We all needed a break. And it happened. Randomly! Vrinda said that let’s go to her hill house in Bhowali, a small place near Nainital. We all said let’s. And we all just went. A trip planned in a minute and executed in 2 days. You see how desperate we were! So it was done – Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And we didn’t give a damn about the huge submission due Monday. Who cares? We needed this trip. And it was so worth it. It was heaven. Away from the noise of the city, away from the burden of the work, away to a far far land where we breathed freshness and chuckled with the birds. Our little vacation in the cutest house in the hills. Thank You, Vri. I’ll upload the pictures soon.

Now I have so much to post and such less time. College is suddenly too much work. So I am going to be a little slow. Bare with me. I’ll keep you posted. 🙂

“Let today be the first day of an incoming continuity.”

A couple of days back I went for a morning run after a really long time where I bumped into one of my grand dad’s friend. He said something to me which really got stuck in my head –

“Let today be the first day of an incoming continuity.”

He meant I should get regular with the morning run. But I related it to so many other things in life that I wanted to do but postponed, things that I started but never completed, so many plans that I made but never executed. And hence, I decided that TODAY will be that day.

So, one of the things that I always wanted to do was write a blog. Document my thoughts, my work, my life. Basically put all the random data in my head and heart in one place and introspect.

And it’s not that I didn’t try before. I did, but always left it midway. So today I am finally starting again. And I plan to post here regularly.

Wish me luck!